Dear Lars M It is nice to hear you are "relishing the nectar" of Krishna consciousness. Have you ever read Caitanya-caritamrta? It is a seventeen volume biography of Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu by Srila Krishnadas Kaviraja Gosvami. It is very ecstatic. It contained the highest spiritual pastimes of Krishna... In the Sri Caitanya-caritamrta different relationships with Krishna are discussed and different types of service... Of all the devotees of Krishna Radha stands supreme and the highest ecstasy Srimati Radharani feels is when She is separated from Krishna. This is very bewildering to Krishna... Because He can't understand what this feeling of separation from Himself is! Because how could He be separated from Himself? So thinking like this and desiring to taste the same ecstasy that Radha feels in separation from Him He decides to incarnate in the mood of Radharani. So He appears Himself as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. He is Krishna Himself, but his mood is as a devotee of Krishna... The Gaudiya Viasnavas [us] worship Krishna in this same vipralamba seva [mood of separation]. It is simultaneously painful and ecstatic. It has been described like drinking hot sugercane juce. In India they boil down the sugercane juce to make sugar so while this is going on there are big pots of boiling hot sugar water... It is very sweet to taste, but it is very hot and it burns your mouth.... I am sending [by the mail] one volume of Sri Caitanya-caritamrta to your address today [it will probably take 4-5 weeks to get there], it is about the appearance of Lord Caitanya and it is very, very nice. Here is a little bit from the first volume of the Adi-Lila: "Krishna appeared as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to distribute the chanting of Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. He appeared in the mood and complexion of Sri Radha. But this [spreading the chanting of Hare Krishna] was an external purpose. There is a principal cause for Sri Krishna's appearance. It grows from His own engagements as the foremost enjoyer of loving exchanges. "The heart of Lord Caitanya is the image of Sri Radhika's emotions. Thus feelings of pleasure and pain arise constantly therein. "In the final portion of His pastimes, Lord Caitanya was obsessed with the madness of separation from Lord Krishna. He acted in erroneous ways and talked deliriously. "Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu exhibited the highest stage of feelings of a devotee in separation from the Lord. This exhibition was sublime because He was completely perfect in the feelings of separation. Materialists, however, cannot understand this. Sometimes materialistic scholars think He was diseased or crazy. Their problem is they always engage in material sense gratification and can never understand the feelings of the devotees of the Lord. Materialists are most abominable in their ideas. They think they can enjoy directly perceivable gross objects by their senses and that they can similarly deal with the transcendental features of Lord Caitanya. But the Lord is understood only in pursuance of the principles laid down by the Gosvamis, headed by Svarupa Damodara . "Just as Radhika went mad at the site of Uddhava, so Lord Caitanya was obsessed day and night with the madness of separation. At night He talked incoherently in grief with His arms around Svarupa Damodara's neck. He spoke out His heart in ecstatic inspiration. When a particular sentiment arose in His heart, Svarupa Damodara satisfied Him by singing songs or reciting verses of a similar nature... "[Krshna says]Whatever pleasure I get from tasting My love for Srimati Radharani , She tastes ten million times more than Me by Her love. Just as I am the abode of all mutually contradictory characteristics, so Radha's love is always full of similar contradictions. Radha's love is all-pervading, leaving no room for expansion. But still it is expanding constantly. There is certainly nothing greater than Her love. But Her love is devoid of pride. That is the sign of its greatness. Nobody is purer then Her love. But its behavior is always perverse and crooked. "All glories to Radha's love for Krishna, the enemy of the demon Mura. Although it is all-pervading, it tends to increase at every moment. Although it is important, it is devoid of pride. Although it is pure it is always beset with duplicity. "Sri Radha is the highest abode of that love, and I am its only object. I taste the bliss to which the object of love is entitled. But the pleasure of Radha, the abode of that love, is ten million times greater. If sometime I can be the abode of that love, only then may I taste its joy. "Thinking in this way Lord Krishna was curious to taste that love. His eager desire for that love increasingly blazed in His heart. This is one desire. Now hear another. Seeing His own beauty Lord Krishna began to consider. "My sweetness is wonderful, infinite and full. No one in the three worlds can find its limit. Only Radhika, by the strength of Her love, tastes all the nectar of My sweetness. Although Radha's love is pure like a mirror, its purity increases at every moment. My sweetness also has no room for expansion, yet it shines before that mirror in newer and newer beauty. There is a constant competition between My sweetness and the mirror of Radha's love. They both go on increasing, but neither knows defeat. "My sweetness is always newer and newer. Devotees taste it according to their own respective love. If I see My sweetness in a mirror I am tempted to taste it but nevertheless I cannot. If I deliberate on a way to taste it, I find that I hanker for the position of Radhika. "The beauty of Krishna has one natural strength: it thrills the hearts of all men and women beginning with Lord Krishna Himself. All minds are attracted to hearing His sweet voice and flute, or by seeing His beauty. Even Lord Krishna Himself makes efforts to taste that sweetness. "The thirst of one who always drinks that sweetness is never satisfied. Rather, that thirst increases constantly. Such a person, being unsatisfied, begins to blaspheme Lord Brahma, saying that he doesn't know the art of creating well and is simply inexperienced. He has not given millions of eyes to see the beauty of Krishna. He has given only two eyes, and even those eyes blink. How then shall I see the lovely face of Krishna? "[the gopis say]O Krishna, when You go to the forest during the day and we do not see Your sweet face, which is surrounded by beautiful curling hairs, half a second becomes as long as an entire age for us. And we consider the creator, who has put eyelids on the eyes we use for seeing You, to be simply a fool. "The gopis saw their beloved Krishna at Kuruksetra after a long separation. They secured and embraced Him in their hearts through their eyes, and they attained a joy so intense that not even perfect yogis can attain it. The gopis cursed the creator for creating eyelids that interfered with their vision. "O friends, those eyes that see the beautiful faces of the sons of Nanda Maharaja [Krishna and Balarama] are certainly fortunate. As these two sons enter the forest, surrounded by Their friends, driving the cows before Them, They hold Their flutes to Their mouths and glance lovingly upon the residents of Vrndavana. For those who have eyes, we think there is no greater object of vision. Srila Prabhupada Ki Jaya!